A New York City single woman has ignited a fierce online debate after calling out modern dating culture — and plenty of Big Apple bachelors — with a blunt list of first-date expectations. What started as a personal rant quickly turned viral, leading to a wave of praise, criticism, and accusations that she’s “high maintenance.”
At the center of the controversy is Raq, a woman in her twenties who describes dating in New York City as exhausting and disheartening. According to her, the city’s dating pool is far from glamorous. She claims many men are either emotionally unavailable, misleading, or simply not what they seem.
Raq said that people who don’t live in major cities often fail to grasp how chaotic urban dating can be. In her view, even men who appear to be “perfect on paper” often turn out to be anything but once you get to know them. That frustration ultimately pushed her to set firm boundaries.
Those boundaries came in the form of seven “bare minimum” dating rules, which she shared on X (formerly Twitter). The post quickly surpassed one million views and triggered intense reactions across social media — perfectly capturing the internet’s attention under the headline-worthy idea of “Single woman labeled ‘high maintenance’ faces backlash after sharing seven dating rules for men.”
The Seven Rules That Set the Internet on Fire
Raq’s list was unapologetic from the very first point. She made it clear that she expects a man to pay the bill on a first date, dismissing the idea of splitting costs entirely. From there, the rules doubled down on traditional etiquette — opening doors, letting her order first, offering the booth seat, and walking her home or to her car afterward.
She also laid out firm conversational boundaries, insisting that men avoid mentioning exes or past romantic entanglements. The final rule referenced the “sidewalk rule,” a classic etiquette standard that sparked both agreement and confusion among readers.
Supporters Call It “Basic Etiquette”
Many women flooded the comments applauding Raq for saying what they’ve long felt but hesitated to voice. Supporters described her list as simple, reasonable, and rooted in traditional courtesy.
Several commenters argued that these expectations shouldn’t be controversial at all, calling them basic standards rather than extravagant demands. To them, anything less signaled low effort and a lack of respect.
Critics Accuse Her of Entitlement
Not everyone was impressed. Hundreds of users pushed back, accusing Raq of promoting double standards and entitlement. Some argued that labeling these rules as “bare minimum” places unfair pressure on men, while others took issue with her blunt tone.
A few critics admitted they didn’t entirely disagree with her expectations but felt the delivery made her come across as difficult or unapproachable. The phrase “high maintenance” appeared repeatedly throughout the backlash.
Provocative Persona — and a Bigger Mission
Raq is no stranger to stirring conversation online. She has built a growing following on both X and Instagram by posting provocative lists and opinions, many of which blend sincerity with humor and sarcasm.
Beyond social media, she’s taken her dating philosophy into real life by hosting in-person mixer events under the banner “Make America Hot Again.” Her goal is to bring together singles she describes as “normal city conservatives,” noting that she identifies as politically moderate herself.
She openly rejects rigid, traditional expectations often associated with conservative dating culture, saying she has no interest in being pushed into early marriage or a lifestyle that doesn’t align with who she is.
Her next NYC event, titled Death of the Dating Apps, aims to encourage singles to ditch swiping culture and meet face-to-face instead. According to Raq, the crowd is intentionally diverse — a blend of people who enjoy socializing, drinking, and having fun, without fitting into extreme political or cultural boxes.
Whether viewed as refreshingly honest or unnecessarily demanding, Raq’s viral list has clearly struck a nerve — reopening the conversation around dating standards, gender roles, and what “bare minimum” really means in modern relationships.
